On the 4th of July in Memphis, Emlen and I found ourselves in one of the classic age-old arguments between men and women. First, a little background. At some point during the night, Truong and I split off from the girls for a couple of hours. While we were apart, the girls met some guys from Arkansas who got them into a club for free and were buying them drinks. Eventually, Truong I met back up with all of them. Here is where our loud, drunken argument began. The problem, which I didn’t realize until the sobriety of morning, is that we were arguing over very different points.
Emlen sat down and I joked that they were using those boys for the free drinks. She argued that I was just jealous they were getting the attention (a line that set me off at the time because it probably contained more than an element of truth) and that the drinks were a bonus and that they were really just enjoying pleasant conversation. Now here is where the argument came apart.
Em argument was based in the broader hypocrisy of society. She said that since boys have unrealistic and unfair expectations that buying drinks=sex (or at least a make out), she has every right to accept the drinks guilt free. She further argued that since she offered to buy the guys’ drinks too, she was morally clear (a point I probably should have conceded at the time).
My argument was much narrower, focusing on girls in relationships. I argued that if a guy offers to buy a drink for a girl he just met, it is clearly a declaration of interest. I believe that if the girl is in a relationship, she should let the guy know up front. If he still wants to buy her drinks and hang out to enjoy the conversation, fair play. But if a girl intentionally hides the fact that she is dating someone, then she is clearly using the guy for some gain. I had no problem that the girls were doing this (I don’t think that this is a capital crime or anything) but I was livid that the girls wouldn’t admit that they were being manipulative. I’m guessing that if we revisited subject when sober, we still would not have come to a complete agreement.
Here are a few other quick notes from our night in Memphis that I am not a good enough writer to weave into a coherent narrative:
-Tes, Emlen, Julia, and Truong did a full, windows-down, sing-a-long video to Marc Cohn’s Walking in Memphis when we first drove into the city. They did so without any sarcasm.
-When we first got to the city, we went to the National Civil Rights Museum which was built around the motel where Martin Luther King was assassinated. The museum was well-done and informative, but it wasn’t having much effect on me. Then I walked through a full size model of the bus that Rosa Parks wouldn’t move from. As I walked in, I saw a lone black man sitting by himself in the back of the bus looking shattered. The impact that this exhibit was having on him was one of the most moving things I have ever seen.
-When Truong and I were split off from the girls, we stopped and watched a street performer named Captain Unmanageable who was attempting to film a pilot for his own reality show. He was pretty talented (kind of like a young Bob Schneider), but what I couldn’t get over was the diversity of his three “hype men”. The first looked like a pot-bellied Ossie Davis. The second resembled what Michael Cera would have looked like if he dressed up as a Blues Brother for Halloween on season one of Arrested Development. The third was a dead ringer for Ron Perlman, if he moonlighted as a mafia enforcer. So strange…
-Finally, Truong clearly had the most eventful night in Memphis. The four of us were intoxicated and left Beale Street in a cab around midnight, but Truong decided to stay out and soak up the atmosphere. Before going to sleep, I talked to him and he told me that he set some record on a mechanical bull. I’m not sure exactly what happened after that (I’m not sure he is either), but let me relay the two text messages that I received from him that night:
4:12 AM – im in troubele hanging out wit folks I shouldnt be in a place I shouldnt be…just ordered fried okra though so all is good
4:45 AM – someone just got shot!!!
Fortunately, by the time I read these, he was safely asleep in the hotel room.
What I’m Listening To: Young Adult Friction – The Pains of Being Pure at Heart, You! Me! Dancing! – Los Campesinos!, & 16 Days - Whiskeytown
Next Stop: 2 Nights in New Orleans
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