Part of my self-perception has always been that I often play the role of the cynical observer. I am more skeptic than believer, more likely to tear something down than build it up. I have always been more likely to sit back on the sidelines and comment on the action than to actually throw myself into it. My nerdiest pick-up line ever (describing myself as the “Nick Carraway” of the group) might also have been my most accurate. Heck, what have all of the incarnations of this blog been if not a way to report on all that goes on around me? I’m usually at the center of any group I’m in, but only because that is where the best view is. If that view allowed me to poke fun at everything around me, all the better.
Last week I was fortunate enough to go on two trips. The first trip was a work conference and training program in Oakland that all involved referred to as “CAMP”. Considering that almost all attendees were in the 25-40 demographic and that there was lots of talk about starting a movement and changing the world, this whole event appeared to be teed up for parody. As the week went on, though, I began to lose the desire to mock. I really liked all of the people around me. I might not have been inspired, but I definitely felt like I was part of something bigger. Sure there were some ridiculous activities and people who were just a little too excited, but I even found myself starting to like them, too. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was becoming one of them.
None of this really crystallized for me until the second part of my trip. On Friday night, I flew into Boulder for Susan’s 30th birthday party. I was really looking forward to that weekend, because in addition to hanging out with Susan and Aaron, I’d get to spend time with Sarah, Dane, and Jeff. On Saturday, we all gathered at a condo Aaron rented for the occasion and hung out with all of Susan’s friends to do what we specialize in…drink to excess. This was an older crowd than I normally hang out with…i.e., it was one that was actually my age for a change. As the night moved on and everyone got sippier, the conversation shifted in the direction of the “kids” today. Person after person expressed their opinion that the 21-year-olds of the world shouldn’t say anything until they had the chance to live a little. Well, Jeff didn’t say that…he greatly values all that 21-year olds have to offer. But as the conversation progressed, I began to become put off by its judgmental nature. It had the tenor of an old man yelling at the kids to get off of his lawn.
Don’t get me wrong…I had a very good time in Boulder (as anyone who read Jeff’s Facebook feed on Saturday can attest). And undoubtedly, I love my college friends in a way that I’ll never feel about any co-workers. What my two vacations did help me realize is that I am definitely not the same person I was when I left Houston three years ago. Undoubtedly, I’m less judgmental than I was before. I am more likely to drink the Kool-Aid. For lack of a better term, I just care more now. And if caring means that I have to participate more and relinquish my observer’s perch, I think I’m ready.
What I'm Listening To: Philadelphia - Standard Fare, Colleen - The Heavy, Too Young to Burn - Sonny and the Sunsets
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
What my Top 10 looks like (Finally!!)
My original goal was to finish this serious of columns during January…then before the Oscars…and seeing as how it is already July 26th, it is probably about time. Better late than never? Remember, these are my favorite movies of 2009…not necessarily the best. Something might hit me square that missed you completely. Agree or disagree, I hope you enjoy!
10) Where the Wild Things Are – This book terrified me as a child in such a way that I was actually proud of making myself watch it. And make no mistake…this isn’t a kids’ movie. I was enthralled by the real opening scenes, affected by the island, and moved by the ending.
9) Black Dynamite – I’m guessing you haven’t heard of this one. Trust me…set this one up in your Netflix queue for the next time you plan to watch a film with a large group. You’ll thank me.
8) A Serious Man – A lot of critics considered this to be a movie illustrating the Coen brothers’ total contempt for their characters and one of their lesser works. That wasn’t the movie I saw. Yes, the main character had to deal with an undeserved amount of abuse, but wasn’t that the whole point? I laughed throughout…you can’t underestimate a movie with a character as great as Sy Ableman.
7) District 9 – This movie gets almost everything right. A fantastic story idea with obvious undertones, a clever storytelling device, and a tonal shift after the first act that really throws the audience. This is a fully realized world filled with odd details. I could have lived without the Hollywood action movie ending, but it didn’t detract too much from the whole.
6) In the Loop – Biting, savagely funny modern update to the Wag the Dog style of political satire. Political humor isn’t for everyone, but this movie is a must for Daily Show/Colbert Report fans.
5) Up in the Air – Gorgeous film that brings to mind what may have become of Ed Norton’s Fight Club character if he had embraced his role of road warrior instead of being driven insane by it. This is a film whose foundation is built on performances, and all three leads are stellar. The clips of real people talking about their experiences being laid off add heft and ground the story in reality.
4) Hurt Locker – Here is what I wrote when I originally saw it in July – “The Hurt Locker may very well be the best movie (of the year). This is the type of movie that should win multiple Oscars, but will be lucky to even sniff a nomination. Iraq war movies have notoriously poor at the box office, but this one deserves to be the exception. It is haunting, tense, and claustrophobic. Jeremy Renner and Anthony Mackie are fantastic in the lead roles.” Wow, guess I underestimate the Oscar voters, huh?
3) Adventureland – This movie benefited the most from my procrastination. I loved it the first time I saw it, but was surprised by how much it still hit home with each subsequent viewing. This movie evokes an unmistakable era without hitting you over the head with it and it shows emotions without resorting to cloying sentimentality. Whenever someone tells me that they love this movie I just want to hug them and vow to be their best friend for life. You don’t get that with films like Avatar.
2) Inglorious Basterds – There is a very famous quote by legendary actress Rosalind Russell that goes “Do you know what makes a movie work? Moments. Give the audience a half dozen moments they can remember, and they’ll leave the theatre happy. “ Inglorious Basterds fits that line to a tee. The opening scene and the bar scene are probably the two best of the year, and there are numerous other s that are still sharp in my memory even though I only saw it once.
1) 500 Days of Summer – Again, back to what I wrote in July – “I almost feel bad reviewing this movie, because my praise is going to be so hyperbolic that I’m sure it will eventually cause some of you to be let down by it. This movie absolutely owned me. I had very high hopes, but they were exceeded in every respect. It was clever, it was sad. It was witty, thorny, and joyous. There were more scenes than I could count that left me with a smile that I couldn’t remove. There were scenes where the pain was visceral. The soundtrack was fantastic. Zooey Deschanel is my (and everybody else’s) celebrity crush. Joseph Gordon-Levitt was my favorite actor before I saw this movie…now I’m certain that he is about to become a household name. It is only July, but I’d be shocked if I see a movie that I like more all year.” I didn’t.
What I’m Listening To: Rill Rill - Sleigh Bells, I Need a Dollar - Aloe Blacc, Tightrope - Janelle Monáe
10) Where the Wild Things Are – This book terrified me as a child in such a way that I was actually proud of making myself watch it. And make no mistake…this isn’t a kids’ movie. I was enthralled by the real opening scenes, affected by the island, and moved by the ending.
9) Black Dynamite – I’m guessing you haven’t heard of this one. Trust me…set this one up in your Netflix queue for the next time you plan to watch a film with a large group. You’ll thank me.
8) A Serious Man – A lot of critics considered this to be a movie illustrating the Coen brothers’ total contempt for their characters and one of their lesser works. That wasn’t the movie I saw. Yes, the main character had to deal with an undeserved amount of abuse, but wasn’t that the whole point? I laughed throughout…you can’t underestimate a movie with a character as great as Sy Ableman.
7) District 9 – This movie gets almost everything right. A fantastic story idea with obvious undertones, a clever storytelling device, and a tonal shift after the first act that really throws the audience. This is a fully realized world filled with odd details. I could have lived without the Hollywood action movie ending, but it didn’t detract too much from the whole.
6) In the Loop – Biting, savagely funny modern update to the Wag the Dog style of political satire. Political humor isn’t for everyone, but this movie is a must for Daily Show/Colbert Report fans.
5) Up in the Air – Gorgeous film that brings to mind what may have become of Ed Norton’s Fight Club character if he had embraced his role of road warrior instead of being driven insane by it. This is a film whose foundation is built on performances, and all three leads are stellar. The clips of real people talking about their experiences being laid off add heft and ground the story in reality.
4) Hurt Locker – Here is what I wrote when I originally saw it in July – “The Hurt Locker may very well be the best movie (of the year). This is the type of movie that should win multiple Oscars, but will be lucky to even sniff a nomination. Iraq war movies have notoriously poor at the box office, but this one deserves to be the exception. It is haunting, tense, and claustrophobic. Jeremy Renner and Anthony Mackie are fantastic in the lead roles.” Wow, guess I underestimate the Oscar voters, huh?
3) Adventureland – This movie benefited the most from my procrastination. I loved it the first time I saw it, but was surprised by how much it still hit home with each subsequent viewing. This movie evokes an unmistakable era without hitting you over the head with it and it shows emotions without resorting to cloying sentimentality. Whenever someone tells me that they love this movie I just want to hug them and vow to be their best friend for life. You don’t get that with films like Avatar.
2) Inglorious Basterds – There is a very famous quote by legendary actress Rosalind Russell that goes “Do you know what makes a movie work? Moments. Give the audience a half dozen moments they can remember, and they’ll leave the theatre happy. “ Inglorious Basterds fits that line to a tee. The opening scene and the bar scene are probably the two best of the year, and there are numerous other s that are still sharp in my memory even though I only saw it once.
1) 500 Days of Summer – Again, back to what I wrote in July – “I almost feel bad reviewing this movie, because my praise is going to be so hyperbolic that I’m sure it will eventually cause some of you to be let down by it. This movie absolutely owned me. I had very high hopes, but they were exceeded in every respect. It was clever, it was sad. It was witty, thorny, and joyous. There were more scenes than I could count that left me with a smile that I couldn’t remove. There were scenes where the pain was visceral. The soundtrack was fantastic. Zooey Deschanel is my (and everybody else’s) celebrity crush. Joseph Gordon-Levitt was my favorite actor before I saw this movie…now I’m certain that he is about to become a household name. It is only July, but I’d be shocked if I see a movie that I like more all year.” I didn’t.
What I’m Listening To: Rill Rill - Sleigh Bells, I Need a Dollar - Aloe Blacc, Tightrope - Janelle Monáe
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Why Groundhog’s Day Has Always Confused Me, and Movies 20-10
Groundhog’s Day really confused me when I was a kid. When I was in 3rd grade, I asked my teacher Mrs. Gradoville what it meant if Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow. She told me that it meant that we would have 6 full more weeks of winter. When I asked her what happens if he didn’t, she told me that it meant we would only have 6 more weeks of winter…yes, you read that right. I went through the next 15 years wondering what the big deal about this groundhog was if it didn’t make a bit of difference if he saw his shadow or not. In retrospect, I wonder if my teacher was ill-informed and believed what she was telling me or if she was just screwing with me since I was an obnoxious little know-it-all. Because, you know, that is what I do to my students.
ALMOST THE CREAM
20) Away We Go – Sure, it was a little uneven. But this movie nails the melancholy of being unsure about where one belongs while still hopeful of what life has around the corner.
19) I Love You, Man – Paul Rudd and Jason Segel have great chemistry… I would watch them in anything. A movie that was consistently funny throughout.
18) Coraline – Visually a stunning movie, with a dark, quirky story to match. I hope that one day I have kids who are cool enough to watch this movie.
17) The Fantastic Mr. Fox - I took awhile to get into it, but the movie became more and more fun with each scene. I’d be very curious to see if kids liked this movie, or if it was really only made for the hipster adults in the audience.
16) Sugar – An intriguing premise (what is it like for Dominican baseball players playing in minor league towns) from talented directors (Half-Nelson) that goes in directions I never would have anticipated.
15) Brothers – This movie surprised me more than any other that I saw this year. The trailer was awful…it was the kind that seemed to give away every important plot point. When I heard a couple of positive reviews, I figured that the trailer might have been deceiving. Well, it wasn’t…but the movie was so well-acted and so tense that it hardly mattered that you knew what was coming next. I was shocked how invested I became in these characters.
14) Humpday – If you don’t know the premise of this movie, I recommend renting it before you find out. For those of you who do know what it is about, you will be amazed at how grounded such an outrageous concept plays out. It is a talky movie without much action, but it stills leaves you on the edge of your seat wondering if they really are going to go there.
13) An Education – A charming, classy movie with some of the most vividly realized characters created this year. You’ll want to strangle the characters for some of the decisions they make, while at the same time completely understanding why they make them. The “villain” is much more seductive and nuanced than you would expect…the ambiguity makes the movie much more than just morality play.
12) Zombieland – This might be the most fun I had at a movie all year. Jesse Eisenberg (the rich man’s Michael Cera) is engaging and Woody Harrelson gives the first of two very different, but equally outstanding, performances this year. This film also has a fantastic cameo that I refuse to spoil. It is easy to overlook because it can be so silly, but there is always room for such a smart, stylish movie.
11) Avatar – Ahh, here we are. I can’t remember the last time that a movie has been this talked about, this fiercely debated. Certain critics become apoplectic whenever Avatar is even mentioned. Honestly, that is what I expected my reaction to be. Most of the criticisms are pretty accurate. Yes, the plot seems recycled. Yes, it can be simplistic and smug. Yes, it is too long by at least 30 minutes. Yet even with all of these enormous flaws, I was won over. Visually, this movie is simply monumental. It is so far ahead of its time that it is almost like watching a different medium. Sure, I’ll be a little annoyed if Avatar goes on to win the Best Picture Oscar…a movie that fails to tell a new story certainly doesn’t deserve it. Regardless, Avatar is certainly the movie that will always be associated with 2009. Too many critics forget that the primary goal of a movie is to be entertaining. There is no doubt that Avatar succeeds there.
What I'm Listening To: The Start of Something - Voxtrot, Killed Myself When I Was Young - AA Bondy, Where Have All The Rude Boys Gone? - Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Why I Can't Tell The Truth Anymore & Movies, 40-21
It took me a little longer than I intended to get back to this project. Work has been busy this month and the last few weekends have been a little bit of a bender. I would be writing about that, but unfortunately it isn't possible to have the same openness that I did in the old Geocities days. Why not? Glad you asked:
1) Newer Friendships - Back in the olden times, I felt like I had a pretty good sense of how far I could push each of my friends. For example, I could write basically anything about Alex or Hari, most things about Jennifer or Michelle, and anything short of direct involvement in felonious activity about Jeff and Aaron. I didn't realize at the time how not normal that was. Most people don't seem to like having all of their embarrassing stories shared in an online forum for the amusement of others.
2) Aging - Drunk party stories from a thirty-year-old are a good deal sadder than those from a twenty-two-year old.
3) The Rise of Social Media - These days, my bosses and, gulp, my parents read this blog on occasion. That makes me a little more careful about what I write. This hasn't completely censored me. I made a very small joke about one of my bosses in this post...I'm hoping that she either doesn't catch it or takes it in the good humor that it was intended. Still have to gamble sometimes..
Movies I Enjoyed...With a Reservation or Two
40) Whip It - This film never met a cliche it didn't like, but it was done in a fun, earnest way. Very enjoyable.
39) Drag Me To Hell - I imagine that this has to be one of the all-time best "Movies High School Students Rent if They are Going to Have a Not-Quite-Girlfriend Over to Their Place to "Watch a Movie" in Hopes That the Girl will Get Scared and Scoot Closer and Grab Your Arm Which Will Eventually Lead to a Make-out Session". In other words, this movie would win an Oscar if the Association of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences was populated by 15-year-old virgins.
38) Observe & Report - This movie pulled a major bait and switch...it was marketed as Paul Blart: Mall Cop for hipsters, but it turned out to have much more in common with Taxi Driver.. The whole time I was watching this movie, I kept thinking that I couldn't believe it was made in a major studio. This one is only for those who appreciate comedy that is darker than Luol Deng.
37) Precious - Fantastic performances, chilling scenes, and an admirable attempt to shine a light on some horrible topics, but I would rather attempt to go through childbirth than watch this film again. It is good, but I couldn't help but feel manipulated...it was just a little too much.
36) Blind Side - I read and loved the book, and this movie had very little in common with the book. The movie was overly sentimental and cliched, yet I still found myself really enjoying it. Sometimes I feel like critics use the phrase "feel-good movie" as an insult, but is that really so bad?
35) Duplicity - This is a smart, fun movie starring Julia Roberts and Clive Owen that didn't make much noise at the box office and is completely forgotten 10 months later. I'm sure a few Hollywood producers are as confused as I am.
34) Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince - By this point in the movie franchise, you don't even have to be embarrassed any more. This was most definitely NOT a kids' movie.
33) Invictus - This was only a pretty good movie, which is a little disappointing because it is based on such a great story. Clint Eastwood can't seem to decide if he wants to make a Mandela biopic or a sports underdog movie, and ends up failing at both. It isn't that the movie is bad, it just lacks any depth.
32) Funny People - AHHHHHH!!!! This one frustrated me. Funny People is that gorgeous, intelligent, vivacious girl you dated for three months in college. The first two months were unbelievable. You were traveling together, you went to all of the best parties, it was the best sex of your life...you were pretty sure you were falling in love. After eight weeks, though, things started to go wrong. Money was disappearing, phone calls weren't being returned, people abruptly stop talking every time you enter the room. By the end of the third month, your bank account was empty, she had slept with most of your friends, and she "accidentally" set fire to your apartment. So does an awful last third of the relationship make you forget all of the good things about the first two thirds? Maybe not, but it sure tempers your excitement when you are recommending her to others.
31) State of Play - There is something very old-fashioned about this movie...it reminds me of a modern day cross between 1970's classics All The President's Men and Three Days of the Condor. Smart, if unsubtle, this would be the perfect movie to rent with your parents next time you are home for a long weekend.
30) Star Trek - This one was about as good as you get this year for a summer popcorn flick. I've never been a Star Trek fan, but this one was exciting and entertaining.
Arthouse Movies I Liked, With a Side of Pixar and Galifianakis
29) The Messengers - Somber, tense, beautifully acted movie about two soldiers whose job it is to inform people that their loved ones had died in combat. Ben Foster and Woody Harrelson both play down their tendency to go "big" and give understated, nuanced performances.
28) World's Greatest Dad - Who knew Bobcat Goldthwait (all of my younger reader are saying "Who?") would turn into a good director or that Robin Williams still had such a strong performances in him. Sad, shocking, and quite funny, this one gets better as it goes along. Hopefully, Williams never feels the need for another nude scene again. God, I wish I was kidding.
27) Anvil: The Story of Anvil - For me, this documentary was a great reminder of how much my own mood affects the movie-going experience. Every review I read talked about how hilarious this was. I didn't laugh much...I only saw the sadness. That's said, it totally worked for me...even if in a much different way than it did for most people. I only saw the pathos in these two aging (almost) rock stars still striving to make it big. Maybe I'd view it differently if I see it again, but I wasn't ready to laugh at these guys who are "pathetic" for not giving up on their dreams.
26) Moon - Small, claustrophobic movie that is almost like a one-man play. Sam Rockwell is fantastic in this very elegant piece of science fiction.
25) Up - Pixar returns with another animated movie that isn't really a kids' movie at all. The first 5 minutes might be better than anything else this year.
24) Two Lovers - Does anyone remember the good old days, when Joaquin Phoenix was just an actor before he became either an Andy Kaufman-esque homeless rapper or just completely lost it? I didn't either, until C.J. recommended this movie to me. The story is basic (do you choose the partner that "fits" you or the one you feel passionate about) but it is done very well.
23) Brothers Bloom - Director Rian Johnson's first movie Brick is one of my absolute favorites and I love con man movies in general, so this film was right in my wheelhouse. I enjoyed it, but their were so many twists that I am not sure if I am overrating or underrating it. This is one that I definitely want to go back and re-watch.
22) Big Fan - Wow...Patton Oswalt is actually a very good actor. Alternately funny and tense, scary and sad...anyone who doubts the veracity of the world that this movie creates only needs to watch a Cowboys game with Valencia.
21) The Hangover - The most quoted movie of the year, one of the funniest, and likely one of the most re-watchable, The Hangover is probably the comedy that most people will remember from 2009. Even if it is just a Vegas-set remake of Dude, Where's My Car?
What I'm Listening To: Warm Heart of Africa - The Very Best (featuring Ezra Koenig), Who Knows, Who Cares - Local Natives, 315-329-6673 - Jason Segel & The Swell Season
1) Newer Friendships - Back in the olden times, I felt like I had a pretty good sense of how far I could push each of my friends. For example, I could write basically anything about Alex or Hari, most things about Jennifer or Michelle, and anything short of direct involvement in felonious activity about Jeff and Aaron. I didn't realize at the time how not normal that was. Most people don't seem to like having all of their embarrassing stories shared in an online forum for the amusement of others.
2) Aging - Drunk party stories from a thirty-year-old are a good deal sadder than those from a twenty-two-year old.
3) The Rise of Social Media - These days, my bosses and, gulp, my parents read this blog on occasion. That makes me a little more careful about what I write. This hasn't completely censored me. I made a very small joke about one of my bosses in this post...I'm hoping that she either doesn't catch it or takes it in the good humor that it was intended. Still have to gamble sometimes..
Movies I Enjoyed...With a Reservation or Two
40) Whip It - This film never met a cliche it didn't like, but it was done in a fun, earnest way. Very enjoyable.
39) Drag Me To Hell - I imagine that this has to be one of the all-time best "Movies High School Students Rent if They are Going to Have a Not-Quite-Girlfriend Over to Their Place to "Watch a Movie" in Hopes That the Girl will Get Scared and Scoot Closer and Grab Your Arm Which Will Eventually Lead to a Make-out Session". In other words, this movie would win an Oscar if the Association of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences was populated by 15-year-old virgins.
38) Observe & Report - This movie pulled a major bait and switch...it was marketed as Paul Blart: Mall Cop for hipsters, but it turned out to have much more in common with Taxi Driver.. The whole time I was watching this movie, I kept thinking that I couldn't believe it was made in a major studio. This one is only for those who appreciate comedy that is darker than Luol Deng.
37) Precious - Fantastic performances, chilling scenes, and an admirable attempt to shine a light on some horrible topics, but I would rather attempt to go through childbirth than watch this film again. It is good, but I couldn't help but feel manipulated...it was just a little too much.
36) Blind Side - I read and loved the book, and this movie had very little in common with the book. The movie was overly sentimental and cliched, yet I still found myself really enjoying it. Sometimes I feel like critics use the phrase "feel-good movie" as an insult, but is that really so bad?
35) Duplicity - This is a smart, fun movie starring Julia Roberts and Clive Owen that didn't make much noise at the box office and is completely forgotten 10 months later. I'm sure a few Hollywood producers are as confused as I am.
34) Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince - By this point in the movie franchise, you don't even have to be embarrassed any more. This was most definitely NOT a kids' movie.
33) Invictus - This was only a pretty good movie, which is a little disappointing because it is based on such a great story. Clint Eastwood can't seem to decide if he wants to make a Mandela biopic or a sports underdog movie, and ends up failing at both. It isn't that the movie is bad, it just lacks any depth.
32) Funny People - AHHHHHH!!!! This one frustrated me. Funny People is that gorgeous, intelligent, vivacious girl you dated for three months in college. The first two months were unbelievable. You were traveling together, you went to all of the best parties, it was the best sex of your life...you were pretty sure you were falling in love. After eight weeks, though, things started to go wrong. Money was disappearing, phone calls weren't being returned, people abruptly stop talking every time you enter the room. By the end of the third month, your bank account was empty, she had slept with most of your friends, and she "accidentally" set fire to your apartment. So does an awful last third of the relationship make you forget all of the good things about the first two thirds? Maybe not, but it sure tempers your excitement when you are recommending her to others.
31) State of Play - There is something very old-fashioned about this movie...it reminds me of a modern day cross between 1970's classics All The President's Men and Three Days of the Condor. Smart, if unsubtle, this would be the perfect movie to rent with your parents next time you are home for a long weekend.
30) Star Trek - This one was about as good as you get this year for a summer popcorn flick. I've never been a Star Trek fan, but this one was exciting and entertaining.
Arthouse Movies I Liked, With a Side of Pixar and Galifianakis
29) The Messengers - Somber, tense, beautifully acted movie about two soldiers whose job it is to inform people that their loved ones had died in combat. Ben Foster and Woody Harrelson both play down their tendency to go "big" and give understated, nuanced performances.
28) World's Greatest Dad - Who knew Bobcat Goldthwait (all of my younger reader are saying "Who?") would turn into a good director or that Robin Williams still had such a strong performances in him. Sad, shocking, and quite funny, this one gets better as it goes along. Hopefully, Williams never feels the need for another nude scene again. God, I wish I was kidding.
27) Anvil: The Story of Anvil - For me, this documentary was a great reminder of how much my own mood affects the movie-going experience. Every review I read talked about how hilarious this was. I didn't laugh much...I only saw the sadness. That's said, it totally worked for me...even if in a much different way than it did for most people. I only saw the pathos in these two aging (almost) rock stars still striving to make it big. Maybe I'd view it differently if I see it again, but I wasn't ready to laugh at these guys who are "pathetic" for not giving up on their dreams.
26) Moon - Small, claustrophobic movie that is almost like a one-man play. Sam Rockwell is fantastic in this very elegant piece of science fiction.
25) Up - Pixar returns with another animated movie that isn't really a kids' movie at all. The first 5 minutes might be better than anything else this year.
24) Two Lovers - Does anyone remember the good old days, when Joaquin Phoenix was just an actor before he became either an Andy Kaufman-esque homeless rapper or just completely lost it? I didn't either, until C.J. recommended this movie to me. The story is basic (do you choose the partner that "fits" you or the one you feel passionate about) but it is done very well.
23) Brothers Bloom - Director Rian Johnson's first movie Brick is one of my absolute favorites and I love con man movies in general, so this film was right in my wheelhouse. I enjoyed it, but their were so many twists that I am not sure if I am overrating or underrating it. This is one that I definitely want to go back and re-watch.
22) Big Fan - Wow...Patton Oswalt is actually a very good actor. Alternately funny and tense, scary and sad...anyone who doubts the veracity of the world that this movie creates only needs to watch a Cowboys game with Valencia.
21) The Hangover - The most quoted movie of the year, one of the funniest, and likely one of the most re-watchable, The Hangover is probably the comedy that most people will remember from 2009. Even if it is just a Vegas-set remake of Dude, Where's My Car?
What I'm Listening To: Warm Heart of Africa - The Very Best (featuring Ezra Koenig), Who Knows, Who Cares - Local Natives, 315-329-6673 - Jason Segel & The Swell Season
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
What You Need To Know About My Brother and 20 Mostly Mediocre Movies
I love my brother Jon.
Stating one’s love for a family member shouldn’t be particularly unusual. But in my family, it is just one of those things that is left unsaid between adult males. I’m not sure why…I feel like I learned it from my dad, who I’m sure learned it from his. The last time I told my father I loved him, I was under the influence of Vicodin immediately after having my wisdom teeth removed. He later confessed that he knew I was drugged up just because I said it!
Jon is the only sibling who I grew up in the same house with, so there in no one who I have shared more experiences with. Those of you who have met Jon know that he is very cool, the epitome of the old school definition of the word. He is relaxed, intelligent and hilarious (a much, much funnier writer than I could ever hope to be). He is a tremendous friend, fiercely loyal, dependable, and always up for a good time. It is weird to say that I look up to my unemployed little brother, but I truly do. Jon lives his life exactly how he chooses and doesn’t bother with anything he doesn’t want to do. I really do respect that.
So Happy Birthday, Jon. I really can say I love you…even if it is only in print.
On to the films of 2009, # 60 - 41
Movies with Only a Few Redeeming Factors
60) Post Grad – Matt Saracen plays the love interest, and I am such a Friday Night Lights fanboy that I sat through this. Pleasant enough if you don’t expect to laugh or care too much.
59) The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard – Worst title of the year? Weird movie that teetered on the line between funny and offensively bad. A couple funny scenes.
58) G-Force – Yes, the guinea pig secret agent movie. How could the studio not buy that pitch! I’d probably rank it lower, but I saw it with my youngest brother Cole who loves it. I’m a sentimentalist at heart.
57) I Love You, Beth Cooper – Believe it or not, this was actually a really funny book. The book satirized the typical teen movie, while this movie just glorified it. Very disappointing.
56) Give ‘Em Hell Malone – This was a movie that was so, so close to working. As a satire of the film noir genre it was clever and funny, but the tone shifts often and without reason and Doug Hutchinson gives possibly the most ridiculously awful, over-the-top performance that I have ever seen.
55) Weather Girl – A dull, inoffensive romantic comedy that you have probably never hear of. And you can now promptly forget.
54) The International
Intriguing Movies Whose Potential Aren’t Fully Realized, and A Sandra Bullock Movie
53) Push – This was a movie with a dense world and tons of back story. Everything was pretty original, but the acting was pretty weak and I couldn’t bring myself to care about the characters. I felt that there was enough creativity here that a talented showrunner could make Push this generations Buffy the Vampire Slayer…a mediocre movie remade into a great television series.
52) The Invention of Lying – Such a fantastic premise that I am amazed that no one had ever thought of it before. The movie wasn’t nearly as funny as it should have been.
51) Watchmen - This is a legendary graphic novel. This movie was brought to life visually, but I found myself wanting to like it more than I actually did. Sadly, it was pretty boring.
50 ) Public Enemies – Here is what I wrote about this movie when I saw it in July – “This is one of those mediocre movies that probably had a great movie lurking inside. It could have been more.” Yep, that sounds about right.
49) Taking Woodstock – Ang Lee told the story of Woodstock from a very unique perspective in a way that I never would have expected, but somehow still came away with clichéd scene after clichéd scene. Also, it was amazing how poorly the music was used in a film about the country’s most famous music festival.
48) The Proposal- Very predictable, but sweet and funny romantic comedy.
47) Pirate Radio – Plenty of ridiculous scenes and stock characters, but I was charmed by this movie. I never really believed anything that was happening on screen or cared about the outcome, but I found it pleasant throughout.
46) The Great Buck Howard- Small movie about a character who thinks he is taking a job but somehow finds his life becoming his work…for better and for worse. Amazing that I might identify with that. The movie is hamstrung by an unlikeable character who I never quite found myself feeling sympathy for.
45) Bruno – Again, I’ll go back to what I wrote in July – “Any movie that targets the intolerant can’t be all bad and there are a few classic scenes (such as the stage parent interviews), but overall I was pretty underwhelmed.”
44) The Informant! – Great reviews for this film, but while I was watching I continually found myself checking my watch. An seemingly made-for-Hollywood story, solid performances, and some hilarious voice-over work from Matt Damon, but I never found myself caring.
Movies That I Was Surprised To Like As Much As I Did
43) Extract – The newest Mike Judge movie has some fantastic scenes, but I was bothered by how uneven it is and how underdeveloped some of the principle relationships in the movies were. I am guessing that this movie will age well with multiple viewings, just like Idiocracy and Office Space.
42) Bandslam – This movie probably surprised me more than any other on this list. It was marketed as this Vanessa Hudgens-led Disney Channel movie-of-the-week-style vehicle, but I decided to give it a chance after reading some surprisingly positive reviews. Sure, there were a few ridiculous plot contrivances and it Hudgens’ character spelled her name "Sa5m" to show her originality, but I found myself really liking the characters. Everyone was just odd enough and situations were confronted in enough unorthodox ways that I found myself charmed. I never felt like it insulted my intelligence, and sometimes, that is all I ask.
41) The Damned United – A small British soccer movie that is more to do with board room politics than winning the big game, it is not surprising that this movie wasn’t seen at many multiplexes this summer. Michael Sheen is fantastic as an egotistical soccer manager. Sheen has a string of great performances (The Queen, Frost/Nixon)…for a relative unknown in the states, he is truly one of our best working actors.
What I'm Listening To: I Knew - Lightning Dust, Floating Vibes - Surfer Blood, Write On - Sleeping in the Aviary
Monday, January 11, 2010
How I Wasted About 40 Hours in 2009
I love movies. I love being the only person in a Tuesday morning art house matinee or packed in with hundreds of others on opening night of the newest blockbuster. I love documentaries and teen sex comedies, foreign language melodramas and one-last-heist genre flicks. I love submersing myself into a world of someone else’s vision and leaving all of my day-to-day troubles at the door. The only thing better than the way movies can make you think is the way they make you feel.
Last year, I saw a total of 80 movies released in 2009. I’ve been very fortunate to see almost all of the movies I wanted to (notable exceptions: Crazy Heart and A Single Man). Over the next week or so, I am going to rank all of them, not necessarily by quality, but by how much I personally enjoyed them. Sure, Invictus might be a “better” movie than Zombieland, but there is no doubt that I enjoyed the latter much more. Overall, I felt like it was a pretty good year for film. I saw about 30 movies that I can recommend almost unconditionally. But, you won’t be reading about any of those today. Let’s start with the bad.
The Holy Jesus Wow This Movie Has To Be In Its Own Category Movie
80) Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans – Warner Herzog’s newest movie received a score of 85 at RottenTomatoes.com. For those of you unfamiliar with that website, Rotten Tomatoes collects the reviews from all of the prominent film critics across the country. A score of 85 means that 85% of the reviews for this movie were positive. I call bullshit. This movie is ridiculous, over-the-top, psychotic, and mostly just outright bad. This is a complete “Emperor Has No Clothes” situation. Since the director is a famous beloved eccentric, he is praised for making a bad movie intentionally bad. The best way I can describe it is to take David Lynch-level crazy and mix it with the plot and acting skill of a straight-to-DVD Steven Seagal thriller. Honestly, I’m probably being a little hard on this movie. It goes so far past bad that it is almost good again. If there is one movie that I’m likely to throw a watch party/drinking game night for, this is the one.
The Normal Bad Movies
79) The Informers – Brett Easton Ellis’s worst collections of fiction become undoubtedly his worst movie adaptation. Pure, insipid ridiculousness that somehow takes itself way too seriously. Great nude scene (s) though…you know, if you are in to that kinda thing.
78) Gigantic – Plot: A young mattress salesman dreams of adopting a Chinese baby, but plans evolve when a young woman named Happy enters his life after falling asleep on one of the mattresses in his store. Yep, amazing that one sucked. The writer/director must have some strong blackmail material…look at how strong the cast is for this dreck.
77) Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen – Never saw the beginning, never saw the end, saw more than enough.
76) Mysteries of Pittsburgh – This is one of my biggest disappointments. I really enjoyed the book, but everything that was good about it was sanitized in the film version. Mind-meltingly dull and totally forgettable.
75) Still Waiting… - Did you know that the 2005 movie Waiting… had a sequel? If not, you were better off for it. Anything that was engaging and relatable about the first one has been removed. Just not funny.
74) The Girlfriend Experience – There is little worse than a movie that doesn’t realize it doesn’t have a point. Out of Sight is one of my favorite movies, so I hate to trash Steven Soderbergh, but this movie is dull, vague, and poorly acted.
73) Penthouse – Rider Strong of Boy Meets World fame is the leading man in this one…yep, this one is my fault for trying.
72) Fired Up – Two boys go to cheerleading camp to meet women…hijinks ensue! My favorite part of this movie is that the two high school boys are played by actors in their thirties…I hope that joke was intended.
71) The Ugly Truth – Ummm, how did that one get in here?
70) He's Just Not that Into You – Uh…yeah…I feel like my remaining manhood points are dwindling here…
69) Couples Retreat- A bunch of comedic actors that I generally like team up to make a movie with zero laughs. Show just how bad some of the movies were that this one squeaked out of the bottom 10.
68) Year One – See above.
67) Fan Boys – Interesting premise (group of geeky friends road trip to steal a copy of Star Wars Episode I: the Phantom Menace from George Lucas’s ranch) is submarined by the fact that it wasn’t very funny and oddly dated. It might have played better if it was released 10 years ago.
66) Serious Moonlight - For those keeping score at home, that is three Kristen Bell movies in the last four. And that is coming from a guy who things Veronica Mars in one of the ten best television shows ever. Only reason it is this high is because I did enjoy the small twist at the end.
At Least A Few Redeeming Factors Movies
65) Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian – Silly, harmless movie…I’ve seen some critics talk about it like it is the sign of the apocalypse, but I’d happily show this movie to any child under 10.
64) Sunshine Cleaning – A movie that clearly saw itself as the next Little Miss Sunshine right down to the casting of Alan Arkin…quirky, but immediately forgettable.
63) Angels & Demons – Well, Tom Hanks’s hair wasn’t as bad in this one.
62) 17 Again – I’m probably more embarrassed this movie is on the list than any other…just normal bad, not terrible.
61) Jennifer’s Body- This is the type of movie that is most frustrating for me. There is talent here, there is an interesting plot idea, but somehow none of it ever comes together. If things clicked differently, I think this could have been a subversive modern update of Heathers.
More to come soon…next time, I’ll even get to write about some movies that I would almost recommend.
What I'm Listening To: - Giving Up The Gun - Vampire Weekend, Islands - The xx, Sticks 'N' Stones - Jamie T
Last year, I saw a total of 80 movies released in 2009. I’ve been very fortunate to see almost all of the movies I wanted to (notable exceptions: Crazy Heart and A Single Man). Over the next week or so, I am going to rank all of them, not necessarily by quality, but by how much I personally enjoyed them. Sure, Invictus might be a “better” movie than Zombieland, but there is no doubt that I enjoyed the latter much more. Overall, I felt like it was a pretty good year for film. I saw about 30 movies that I can recommend almost unconditionally. But, you won’t be reading about any of those today. Let’s start with the bad.
The Holy Jesus Wow This Movie Has To Be In Its Own Category Movie
80) Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans – Warner Herzog’s newest movie received a score of 85 at RottenTomatoes.com. For those of you unfamiliar with that website, Rotten Tomatoes collects the reviews from all of the prominent film critics across the country. A score of 85 means that 85% of the reviews for this movie were positive. I call bullshit. This movie is ridiculous, over-the-top, psychotic, and mostly just outright bad. This is a complete “Emperor Has No Clothes” situation. Since the director is a famous beloved eccentric, he is praised for making a bad movie intentionally bad. The best way I can describe it is to take David Lynch-level crazy and mix it with the plot and acting skill of a straight-to-DVD Steven Seagal thriller. Honestly, I’m probably being a little hard on this movie. It goes so far past bad that it is almost good again. If there is one movie that I’m likely to throw a watch party/drinking game night for, this is the one.
The Normal Bad Movies
79) The Informers – Brett Easton Ellis’s worst collections of fiction become undoubtedly his worst movie adaptation. Pure, insipid ridiculousness that somehow takes itself way too seriously. Great nude scene (s) though…you know, if you are in to that kinda thing.
78) Gigantic – Plot: A young mattress salesman dreams of adopting a Chinese baby, but plans evolve when a young woman named Happy enters his life after falling asleep on one of the mattresses in his store. Yep, amazing that one sucked. The writer/director must have some strong blackmail material…look at how strong the cast is for this dreck.
77) Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen – Never saw the beginning, never saw the end, saw more than enough.
76) Mysteries of Pittsburgh – This is one of my biggest disappointments. I really enjoyed the book, but everything that was good about it was sanitized in the film version. Mind-meltingly dull and totally forgettable.
75) Still Waiting… - Did you know that the 2005 movie Waiting… had a sequel? If not, you were better off for it. Anything that was engaging and relatable about the first one has been removed. Just not funny.
74) The Girlfriend Experience – There is little worse than a movie that doesn’t realize it doesn’t have a point. Out of Sight is one of my favorite movies, so I hate to trash Steven Soderbergh, but this movie is dull, vague, and poorly acted.
73) Penthouse – Rider Strong of Boy Meets World fame is the leading man in this one…yep, this one is my fault for trying.
72) Fired Up – Two boys go to cheerleading camp to meet women…hijinks ensue! My favorite part of this movie is that the two high school boys are played by actors in their thirties…I hope that joke was intended.
71) The Ugly Truth – Ummm, how did that one get in here?
70) He's Just Not that Into You – Uh…yeah…I feel like my remaining manhood points are dwindling here…
69) Couples Retreat- A bunch of comedic actors that I generally like team up to make a movie with zero laughs. Show just how bad some of the movies were that this one squeaked out of the bottom 10.
68) Year One – See above.
67) Fan Boys – Interesting premise (group of geeky friends road trip to steal a copy of Star Wars Episode I: the Phantom Menace from George Lucas’s ranch) is submarined by the fact that it wasn’t very funny and oddly dated. It might have played better if it was released 10 years ago.
66) Serious Moonlight - For those keeping score at home, that is three Kristen Bell movies in the last four. And that is coming from a guy who things Veronica Mars in one of the ten best television shows ever. Only reason it is this high is because I did enjoy the small twist at the end.
At Least A Few Redeeming Factors Movies
65) Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian – Silly, harmless movie…I’ve seen some critics talk about it like it is the sign of the apocalypse, but I’d happily show this movie to any child under 10.
64) Sunshine Cleaning – A movie that clearly saw itself as the next Little Miss Sunshine right down to the casting of Alan Arkin…quirky, but immediately forgettable.
63) Angels & Demons – Well, Tom Hanks’s hair wasn’t as bad in this one.
62) 17 Again – I’m probably more embarrassed this movie is on the list than any other…just normal bad, not terrible.
61) Jennifer’s Body- This is the type of movie that is most frustrating for me. There is talent here, there is an interesting plot idea, but somehow none of it ever comes together. If things clicked differently, I think this could have been a subversive modern update of Heathers.
More to come soon…next time, I’ll even get to write about some movies that I would almost recommend.
What I'm Listening To: - Giving Up The Gun - Vampire Weekend, Islands - The xx, Sticks 'N' Stones - Jamie T
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
How I Said Goodbye to 2009
For most of my twenties, New Year’s Eve has served the role of de facto reunion for my group of college friends. No matter where we were in life, New Year’s was a time where we all came together to celebrate friendship, re-tell old stories, and drink until we were ready to create new ones. Since we turned 21, we have spent New Year’s Eve in New York, Chicago, New Orleans, Austin, & Houston
Nothing lasts forever. For a variety of reasons, things never really came together this year. Jon, Reid, & Jeff were in Austin, the Trinity girls and a few Rice friends were in Denver (separately), the Rammage triumvirate celebrated in Dallas, the Chicago doctors stayed home, and a few other friends were spread out in Houston, Atlanta, Miami. For someone as nostalgic as I am, the fact that this tradition was on hiatus (if not over) was difficult to accept.
I began to look forward to New Year’s Eve 2009 when Julia, C.J., and I decided that we were going to celebrate together. We made it an open invitation to co-workers and friends, and ended up recruiting a group of 11 to take the train up to Portland, Maine. Besides the 3 of us, Emlen, Brian, Matt, Rebeca (yes… A Rice connection!), Rebeca’s friend Samm, Dave, Lola, and C.J.’s girlfriend Kim. If you don’t recognize all of those names from my previous entries…well, it isn’t only because I haven’t written in a few months. Not counting Samm (who I had only met once before), I’m not sure the rest of us had ever all hung out socially before. Instead of hanging out with the same people I had forever, I was going to be celebrating with an unknown entity. Going into the night, I was cautiously optimistic that the group would gel (SPOILER ALERT: It did!) With that in mind, here are the ten words I will always associate with NYE Portland 2009.
1) SNOW – When we arrived in Portland, snow was falling steadily. Although this wasn’t much of a problem for us in Portland and actually provided a pretty amazing view out of our hotel window, the snow caused havoc with the groups that were driving up from Boston. Emlen ended up soldiering through a five hour drive (it is normally two), but unfortunately Lola and Kim were stranded in Boston.
2) BED – Although everyone was very disappointed that they couldn’t make it, it did allow us to consolidate everyone into one bedroom. Nine people in one room may seem like a lot to those of you who are post-college, but to those of us who still hang out with 22-year-olds and/or make less than $30,000 a year, this seemed like a perfectly reasonable decision. We ordered two cots up to the room and proceeded to combine them with the two beds in the room to make one giant bed. I wish I would have remembered to take a picture…it looked like something straight out of Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice. Somehow with that much bed space, Brian still managed to sleep in a chair.
3) JERSEY SHORE – Ok, I cheated. That’s two words. But I can’t think of a better way to describe the Oasis, a ridiculous bar that we went to around 10:00. This bar had a weird mix of teenagers test driving their new fake IDs, predatory middle-age men looking to meet them, guidos (MTV officially made that term ok to say) in tank tops or Ed Hardy shirts, recent divorcees on the hunt, and two guys in brightly colored tuxedos who looked like they got lost on the way back from The Roxbury. C.J. and I looked at each other and agreed that there was absolutely no way we were spending midnight there. But I have to admit, that bar immediately picked up what had theretofore been a slow night. Well, it was either that bar, or the speed that we finished our drinks to get out of there.
4) DJ LENZA – My favorite part of the Oasis was their house dj, DJ Lenza. Now Mr. Lenza’s whole persona was a sight to behold. His booth sat atop a large boat-shaped stage (yes, he did play I’m on a Boat). When he spoke over the microphone, he sounded like Isaac Hayes. This was only strange because he looked like this and when he wasn’t speaking into the mike, he sounded like a normal white kid from Southie. I couldn’t figure this out…he was saying things that made sense (such as “It’s 2 hours ‘til 2010!”), but it was coming out in the clearly African-American voice. Either he had a friend pre-record all of these sound bites, or he had some voice changer on his microphone. Either way, it was very jarring since he had an open booth and we could all clearly see that he was white. Unsurprisingly, Julia befriended him and was given his pre-made mix cd. Can’t wait to hear that one next time I am in her car.
5) PUNCHED – We spent the turn of midnight at a bar that was perfect for our purposes. There were multiple bars and a dance floor, but also enough table space and quieter areas to relax when you needed to escape the hysteria. After the New Year’s countdown, everyone was exuberant and happily celebrating with those around them. Well, almost everyone. Dave said “Happy New Year!” to a group at the table next to us…this led him getting punched in the head by a girl at that table. I never got the full story, but I think that he got hit because Samm had said something to the girl’s boyfriend. Somehow, Dave got hit for that. At the time, I didn’t care at all…I just thought it was funny that he was hit by a girl. I’m a great friend to have your back.
6) PICTURE – Thirty minutes later, I agreed to kiss a girl for the sake of a good picture…I’m nothing if not altruistic. The next morning when scrolling through a series of embarrassing drunken pictures, there was nothing but laughter. Well, that is until she came to the kiss picture. She exclaimed, “Oh, God!” as her head immediately dropped into her hands. That picture was deleted within seconds. Causing that kind of reaction is just what I need for the old ego. In all honesty, though, I probably deserved it. Last year in Austin, I did the exact same thing to a picture of the girl I made out with post-New Year’s 2008!!! As Truong, Emlen, and Tes would say, that’s Karmageddon!
7) GALLIVANTING – I’m probably not the person to write this section, but Brian and Dave apparently had the most exciting portion of their night after they split up from the group. I’m not sure of all the details of their adventure, but it included smoking cigars, high-fiving every stranger they saw, “chivalrously” offering up our hotel room to a scantily dressed girl who was abandoned by her friends, and even being invited up to the hotel room of two older women (they declined). At one point, Brian tried to get two girls on the street to give each other a New Year’s kiss. When they said they couldn’t because they were sisters, Brian’s only response was. “So?” My friends…the same no matter what city I am living in.
8) STEALING – Julia is a little bit of a closet klepto. She never takes anything of value, but over the last couple of years she has come home with a framed picture from an Irish pub, the key to the city of Cambridge, a pitcher from the same Irish pub, and too many other pint glasses and knick knacks to count. At the last bar of the night, her latent streak came out as she swiped this basket off the shelf in one swoop. Any suggestions on what she should keep in it?
9) GRAPES – Rebeca’s family is originally from Spain, so she introduced us to an interesting New Year’s Eve tradition. In Spain, everyone is supposed to eat 12 grapes over the last 12 seconds of the year to bring luck for the following year. Everyone was excited to try this, but unfortunately we could only find the oversized seeded grapes. Although we didn’t work it into the countdown, we did try to eat the grapes when we got back to the hotel room. This didn’t work quite as planned…everyone who tried to do it either choked on the seeds or gave up to throw them at each other across the room. I’m not sure if this portends a year of bad luck, but it may have been worth it.
10) CELEBRATION – The old joke was always that New Year’s Eve was a night for amateurs, but I really enjoyed the professionalism we had built up over the decade. There were always people drifting in and out of the group, but the core were always the people who knew us the best and had bared witness to the myriad of embarrassing things we had done. While everything else changed, New Year’s Eve had been this reassuring constant. Well this year, that changed too. That said, I had as much fun this year as I have had any year since New Orleans (which might never be topped). I probably have always over-emphasized New Year’s. Sure, it is special to have your oldest friends around, but a group of new friends who are up for a good time is a pretty great substitute.
What I’m Listening To: – Don’t Haunt This Place – Rural Alberta Advantage, All My Friends – LCD Soundsystem, You Can’t Say No Forever – Lacrosse
Nothing lasts forever. For a variety of reasons, things never really came together this year. Jon, Reid, & Jeff were in Austin, the Trinity girls and a few Rice friends were in Denver (separately), the Rammage triumvirate celebrated in Dallas, the Chicago doctors stayed home, and a few other friends were spread out in Houston, Atlanta, Miami. For someone as nostalgic as I am, the fact that this tradition was on hiatus (if not over) was difficult to accept.
I began to look forward to New Year’s Eve 2009 when Julia, C.J., and I decided that we were going to celebrate together. We made it an open invitation to co-workers and friends, and ended up recruiting a group of 11 to take the train up to Portland, Maine. Besides the 3 of us, Emlen, Brian, Matt, Rebeca (yes… A Rice connection!), Rebeca’s friend Samm, Dave, Lola, and C.J.’s girlfriend Kim. If you don’t recognize all of those names from my previous entries…well, it isn’t only because I haven’t written in a few months. Not counting Samm (who I had only met once before), I’m not sure the rest of us had ever all hung out socially before. Instead of hanging out with the same people I had forever, I was going to be celebrating with an unknown entity. Going into the night, I was cautiously optimistic that the group would gel (SPOILER ALERT: It did!) With that in mind, here are the ten words I will always associate with NYE Portland 2009.1) SNOW – When we arrived in Portland, snow was falling steadily. Although this wasn’t much of a problem for us in Portland and actually provided a pretty amazing view out of our hotel window, the snow caused havoc with the groups that were driving up from Boston. Emlen ended up soldiering through a five hour drive (it is normally two), but unfortunately Lola and Kim were stranded in Boston.
2) BED – Although everyone was very disappointed that they couldn’t make it, it did allow us to consolidate everyone into one bedroom. Nine people in one room may seem like a lot to those of you who are post-college, but to those of us who still hang out with 22-year-olds and/or make less than $30,000 a year, this seemed like a perfectly reasonable decision. We ordered two cots up to the room and proceeded to combine them with the two beds in the room to make one giant bed. I wish I would have remembered to take a picture…it looked like something straight out of Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice. Somehow with that much bed space, Brian still managed to sleep in a chair.
3) JERSEY SHORE – Ok, I cheated. That’s two words. But I can’t think of a better way to describe the Oasis, a ridiculous bar that we went to around 10:00. This bar had a weird mix of teenagers test driving their new fake IDs, predatory middle-age men looking to meet them, guidos (MTV officially made that term ok to say) in tank tops or Ed Hardy shirts, recent divorcees on the hunt, and two guys in brightly colored tuxedos who looked like they got lost on the way back from The Roxbury. C.J. and I looked at each other and agreed that there was absolutely no way we were spending midnight there. But I have to admit, that bar immediately picked up what had theretofore been a slow night. Well, it was either that bar, or the speed that we finished our drinks to get out of there.
4) DJ LENZA – My favorite part of the Oasis was their house dj, DJ Lenza. Now Mr. Lenza’s whole persona was a sight to behold. His booth sat atop a large boat-shaped stage (yes, he did play I’m on a Boat). When he spoke over the microphone, he sounded like Isaac Hayes. This was only strange because he looked like this and when he wasn’t speaking into the mike, he sounded like a normal white kid from Southie. I couldn’t figure this out…he was saying things that made sense (such as “It’s 2 hours ‘til 2010!”), but it was coming out in the clearly African-American voice. Either he had a friend pre-record all of these sound bites, or he had some voice changer on his microphone. Either way, it was very jarring since he had an open booth and we could all clearly see that he was white. Unsurprisingly, Julia befriended him and was given his pre-made mix cd. Can’t wait to hear that one next time I am in her car.5) PUNCHED – We spent the turn of midnight at a bar that was perfect for our purposes. There were multiple bars and a dance floor, but also enough table space and quieter areas to relax when you needed to escape the hysteria. After the New Year’s countdown, everyone was exuberant and happily celebrating with those around them. Well, almost everyone. Dave said “Happy New Year!” to a group at the table next to us…this led him getting punched in the head by a girl at that table. I never got the full story, but I think that he got hit because Samm had said something to the girl’s boyfriend. Somehow, Dave got hit for that. At the time, I didn’t care at all…I just thought it was funny that he was hit by a girl. I’m a great friend to have your back.
6) PICTURE – Thirty minutes later, I agreed to kiss a girl for the sake of a good picture…I’m nothing if not altruistic. The next morning when scrolling through a series of embarrassing drunken pictures, there was nothing but laughter. Well, that is until she came to the kiss picture. She exclaimed, “Oh, God!” as her head immediately dropped into her hands. That picture was deleted within seconds. Causing that kind of reaction is just what I need for the old ego. In all honesty, though, I probably deserved it. Last year in Austin, I did the exact same thing to a picture of the girl I made out with post-New Year’s 2008!!! As Truong, Emlen, and Tes would say, that’s Karmageddon!
7) GALLIVANTING – I’m probably not the person to write this section, but Brian and Dave apparently had the most exciting portion of their night after they split up from the group. I’m not sure of all the details of their adventure, but it included smoking cigars, high-fiving every stranger they saw, “chivalrously” offering up our hotel room to a scantily dressed girl who was abandoned by her friends, and even being invited up to the hotel room of two older women (they declined). At one point, Brian tried to get two girls on the street to give each other a New Year’s kiss. When they said they couldn’t because they were sisters, Brian’s only response was. “So?” My friends…the same no matter what city I am living in.
8) STEALING – Julia is a little bit of a closet klepto. She never takes anything of value, but over the last couple of years she has come home with a framed picture from an Irish pub, the key to the city of Cambridge, a pitcher from the same Irish pub, and too many other pint glasses and knick knacks to count. At the last bar of the night, her latent streak came out as she swiped this basket off the shelf in one swoop. Any suggestions on what she should keep in it?9) GRAPES – Rebeca’s family is originally from Spain, so she introduced us to an interesting New Year’s Eve tradition. In Spain, everyone is supposed to eat 12 grapes over the last 12 seconds of the year to bring luck for the following year. Everyone was excited to try this, but unfortunately we could only find the oversized seeded grapes. Although we didn’t work it into the countdown, we did try to eat the grapes when we got back to the hotel room. This didn’t work quite as planned…everyone who tried to do it either choked on the seeds or gave up to throw them at each other across the room. I’m not sure if this portends a year of bad luck, but it may have been worth it.
10) CELEBRATION – The old joke was always that New Year’s Eve was a night for amateurs, but I really enjoyed the professionalism we had built up over the decade. There were always people drifting in and out of the group, but the core were always the people who knew us the best and had bared witness to the myriad of embarrassing things we had done. While everything else changed, New Year’s Eve had been this reassuring constant. Well this year, that changed too. That said, I had as much fun this year as I have had any year since New Orleans (which might never be topped). I probably have always over-emphasized New Year’s. Sure, it is special to have your oldest friends around, but a group of new friends who are up for a good time is a pretty great substitute.
What I’m Listening To: – Don’t Haunt This Place – Rural Alberta Advantage, All My Friends – LCD Soundsystem, You Can’t Say No Forever – Lacrosse
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